I avoided watching the movie, The Notebook, for a year or so. Everyone around me had seen it, my daughters included. They told me I would like it, that is was my kind of chick flick. But I didn’t want to see it because it is about a woman who has Alzheimer’s. And my mother also has Alzheimer’s. I’ve watched her go from this insanely independent woman to someone who asks the same question over and over. Recently, I was in St. Catharines (I already wrote about my friends and my visit home so this is part two), and the reason I was there was to do Christmas Cards with my mother. We sit down and I draft a letter for her then we proceed to get her cards ready to send off. She signs them all and I tell her they are going to. Although, I know she won’t remember doing the cards the next day we still do them and I get joy from my afternoon with her. Most people she remembers, which is wonderful. Over the years I’ve learned so much about how to deal with my mother and I think the most important thing is to live in the moment. Or as spiritual gurus would say, “Live in the Now.” It took us an afternoon to do the cards and we rewarded ourselves by getting our her fine china and having a tea party. My daughter was there as was my niece. We had a lovely tea party, which was forgotten the minute the tea cups were back int the cupboard. The next evening, I took my mom to see my sister perform in a play. Having moved from Vancouver to St. Catharines to help take care of Mom, Brenda has continued her love of the theatre and become a thespian in St. Catharines. For this show she was performing with the Thorald Community Center in “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.” At the intermission, my mother couldn’t remember seeing Brenda on stage. I tried to jog her memory to tell her when she was on and what she was wearing. At the end of the play, Brenda walked down the aisle to head off stage. We were close to the end of the aisle and my mother stood up and waved to her. This almost childlike gesture made me cry. Mom knew who Brenda was and wanted to reach out and touch her. Later, after we had dropped Mom off at her home, Brenda and I talked about that moment. I will never forget it. And I will never underestimate the power of the moment. Because with Mom, that is all we have.
Yes, she forgot about the play the next day. And she forgot that I had been there to do cards with her. But I have all the moments left to cherish.
And by the way, I have seen The Notebook and, yes, I cried during the movie as I am crying now just writing about Mom.

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